Hello lovelies, welcome back to my page. Today I wanted to share with you my tips on getting through the struggle that is single parenthood. Now I don’t stick to these completely I’m far from perfect but I do try because it does make life that little bit easier.
Getting a handle on finances:
Raising a family on one income, or relying on an ex-spouse for child support, can be one of the hardest aspects of parenting alone. That’s why it’s important to take steps to budget your money, learn about long-term investments, plan for retirement, if possible, enhance your earning power by going back to school or getting additional job training. It’s a great way to help you add that little bit of extra income for those rainy days.
Set up a support system:
All single parents need help — whether they like to admit it or not if it’s someone to watch the kids while you run out to do errands or simply someone to talk to when you feel overwhelmed. While it’s tempting to try to handle everything alone, ask friends and family members for help. You could join a single-parent support group, or, if finances allow, hire a trusted sitter to help out with the kids or someone to assist with housework. I for one am very lucky that I have my parents to look to when times get tough I’d definitely be lost without them.
Maintain a daily routine:
Always try to schedule meals, chores, bedtimes, and other family functions at regular hours so that your child knows exactly what to expect each day. A consistent routine will help your child feel more secure and help you feel more organized. You won’t be running around at ten o’clock st night shouting “it’s bedtime, it’s BEDTIME!!” Then the morning after no one wants to get up for school Believe I’ve been there.
Be consistent with discipline:
Children thrive when they know which behaviors are expected of them and which rules they need to follow. If you are divorced or separated, work with your spouse to create and observe consistent rules and methods of discipline (there’s nothing more stressful than having one parent undermine the other). If your child has other caregivers, talk to them about how you expect your child to be disciplined. This has always been a must for me there’s no point in me build up my discipline and rules for someone else to let them away with what I don’t it totally confuses the child and they’re more than likely to play up even more.
Answer questions honestly:
Inevitably, questions will come up about the changes in your family, or about the absence of one parent. Answer your child’s questions in an open, honest, and age-appropriate way. Make sure that your child gets the help and support he needs to deal with difficult emotions. Always support them even through the little things if they think they can speak to you about the silly things in life they’re more than likely going to come to you through the hardest times. I have always had an open relationship with my daughters they know absolutely everything that is age appropriate and I think it has gave us a much closer bond.
Treat kids like kids:
With the absence of a partner, it’s sometimes tempting to rely too heavily on children for comfort, companionship, or sympathy. But children have neither the emotional capacity nor the life experience to act as substitute adult partners. If you find yourself depending on your kids too much, or expressing your frustrations to them too often, seek out adult friends and family members to talk to. Or seek counseling if necessary. Don’t just rant or dump your stress or worries on them it’s not their job or fault you are in this situation, let them be kids and they’ll grow up happy and healthy.
Abolish “guilt” from your vocabulary:
It’s always easy for single parents to feel guilty about the time they don’t have or the things they can’t do or provide for their children, I know I do a lot of the time. But for your own sense of well-being, it’s better to focus on all the things you do accomplish on a daily basis and on all the things you do provide — and don’t forget about all the love, attention, and comfort you’re responsible for! (If you ever question your day-to-day achievements, just make a list.) If you’re feeling guilty about a divorce or other disruption in your home life, think about joining a support group for other divorced parents. Focus on helping your child (and yourself) get the help you need.
Take time for your children:
Even though the piles of laundry and dirty dishes may beckon, set aside time each day to enjoy your kids. (After all, isn’t that what parenting is all about?) Spend quiet time playing, reading, going for a walk, or simply listening to music together. And most important, focus on the love between you and on your relationship as a family. Our favourite thing to do as family is snuggle up on the sofa with popcorn and Disney movies. We talk, laugh, play and most of all listen to each other.
Take time for yourself:
Likewise, it’s important to schedule time for yourself. Even if it’s something as simple as reading a book, taking a warm bath, or having a chat with a friend, setting aside a little personal time will give you a chance to refuel.
It’s easy to become overwhelmed by all the responsibilities and demands of single parenthood. On top of that, you may be experiencing the pain of divorce or maybe even the death of a spouse. Despite all of your own feelings, though, it’s important to maintain a positive attitude, since your children are affected by your moods. The best way to deal with stress is to exercise regularly, maintain a proper diet, get enough rest, and seek balance in your life. If you’re feeling sad, it’s okay to share some of your sentiments with your children, but let them know that they are not the cause of the problems — and that good times lie ahead for all of you.
These are some of the tips I’ve gathered over my nearly decade of being a single mother and partly the only care giver to my daughters. They have helped me through the good times and the bad especially going through chemotherapy and how my daughters were coping with the changes. I really hope you can maybe find one or two that will help you out too.