There is a huge stigma associated with dating single mothers.
Most men believe single mothers come with a dramatic background and lots baggage. This just simply isn’t true in every case. I am lucky to have a very civil relationship with my daughters father (ok we don’t agree al the time but we do try).
Another fear many men have when deciding whether or not to date a single mother is they won’t be made a priority.
Well I can tell you right now, if I choose to date you or be with you, you will be a priority. My time is limited having two daughters and a hectic life, so if I choose to spend it with you, you mean something to me I’m not going to take time away from my children for no reason. Men know scheduling date nights with a single mother will be difficult and will require planning in advance and this sometimes puts them off. While this is true, shouldn’t this be the case for most of the 30-somethings out there who actually want serious relationships? I think that if you’re the type of guy who never puts effort into planning date nights, then you shouldn’t be in a relationship to begin with end of.
If anyone knows how to balance his or her life, it’s single mothers.
Instead of deeming a woman “undateable” solely due to the fact that she has a child, men should consider the many qualities that make these strong, independent women amazing partners.
Here are nine reasons to date a single mother:
1. We are selfless.
We are used to putting the needs of our children before our own as such we will put your needs there too. Whether it’s pulling all-nighters with a sickly/crying baby, skipping morning errands because it’s baby’s nap time or having to pass up a much-needed girls night because your child isn’t feeling well, we are used to putting our needs last.
If you eventually become an important part of our life, we will make those same sacrifices for you because that’s how we show our love.
2. We are very patient.
Nothing develops patience more than raising a child. Between the lack of sleep and the stress of caring for another human being all on our own, we have a lot on our plates. If we can keep calm during the infinite temper tantrums of the terrible twos or let it go when we find permanent marker scribbles on the walls, teabags opened and spread over the kitchen or even sudocream smeared over the tv (yes this happened) we can definitely put up with your mistakes. We get it; you’re human, and so are we. If you’re running late, forget details of a conversation we had or take forever to text us back, we aren’t going to snap at you.
We have learned that losing our cool and going ape shit accomplishes nothing. In fact, it tends to escalate the situation so instead we are patient with you.
3. If we make time for you, you’re definitely important to us.
Between studying 40 hours a week and trying to raise two energetic daughters, I have very little free time for a social life.
When I’m not studying, working on my blog, taking my daughters swimming or to another activity, working out or catching up on housework, I like to re-energize by relaxing at home.
I am extremely picky about who I choose to go out with for this reason. I typically can have one to two free nights every other week, and if I choose to spend one of those nights with you, it’s because I think you’re special and worth my time.
4. If we choose to date you, it’s because we see something in you.
We’re more cautious about who we choose to date than many other single women.
Random hookups are a thing of the past for us; there is no way in hell we will bring a stranger into our home, whether our kids are there or not. We don’t do the whole friends with benefits, gray area thing that is so prevalent these days.
When a single mother considers dating someone, there is a lot of thought that goes into that decision. Not only do we have to consider our own personal preferences of what we want in a partner, but we also consider our children’s preferences.
We have to consider whether you would be someone we could eventually bring into their lives.
When I choose to date someone, I’m not just looking for someone I’m attracted to, someone I have great sexual chemistry with or someone I share similar interests with. Unfortunately, being a mother, I have to consider the long-term. You may be tall, sexy, smart and have an amazing job, but if you don’t ever want kids, you’re an automatic no.
I can’t date a guy whose favorite weekend activity is going to the bars and getting drunk because that lifestyle is so vastly different from mine. However, I’m absolutely not saying the second I meet a family-oriented guy with a good career, I’m planning to jump straight into long-term talks. But, these are all things that cross my mind when I consider a potential partner. My free time is limited, so unless you want the same things in life that I do, I don’t want to waste both of our time.
When I choose to date someone, it is because I have thought long and hard about this decision. I choose to date you because of your character, not just your looks. I choose to date you because you have a good heart, solid morals, ambition and goals, which are all traits I want in a male role-model for my daughters.
5. Relationships are much more meaningful.
As a daughter of parents who have been happily married for more than 20 years, I want nothing more than to model that type of loving relationship for my daughters.
My relationship with my daughters father had been rocky since my second daughters birth, I wanted to make things work so my daughters wouldn’t have to go through the heartbreak of a broken family but for some time that wasn’t the case, the fighting and arguing was out of control.
It took me months to come to terms with the situation, but years on I realize now how much better of a place we are in. I never want them to think any of that is a normal part of a relationship. I want them to grow up in a home that models love, respect and selflessness.
I will do anything and everything in my power to give them that.
Single mothers have seen what leads to toxic relationships, and they will devote their full effort to not repeat those mistakes. I’ve learned to choose my battles, let go of the little things and exercise the power of communication. I’ve learned if you want a relationship to work, both parties have to give 100 percent of themselves, not just a 50/50 effort.
If you choose to date a single mum, you can expect stability because she won’t subject herself or her children to anything else.
6. We will take care of you.
You know how your mother has the answer to every question related to health, laundry and cooking? Yeah, we know that stuff, too.
Raising a football player, I know how to bandage up a wound and stop a nosebleed. We know how to bring down fevers and whether an illness requires a trip to the doctor or just some rest. Having accident-prone children, we know how to get every stain imaginable out of laundry or the carpet.
We know how to sew those missing buttons onto your dress shirts. We know how to cook delicious meals for even the pickiest of eaters.
So, if you come down with the flu, you can expect a lot of TLC from us.
7. We are more mature than most women our age.
Gone are the days of late-night binge-drinking and clubbing. As a mother, most nights consist of getting the kids to bed by 9, finishing any remaining housework and then curling up in bed with a glass of wine, Netflix and a good book.
When you date a mother, you don’t have to worry about her going out or what type of decision she will make when she’s having girls’ nights. Because on the rare nights when we do go out and drink, we limit ourselves to just a few because nothing is worse than taking care of a child while nursing a hungover.
Our kids come first, and our decisions reflect that. We’ve learned to watch what we say and how we act because we know their little eyes and ears model our behavior.
8. We can handle anything.
Vomit, poop, blood: We’ve seen it all. Nothing fazes us. So, feel free to be yourself around us. We actually appreciate you being real with us.
Motherhood has made us incredibly laid-back because we’re used to the curveballs that life throws us. You’ve got a job that requires you to travel a lot? We’re okay with that because we’re used to being alone, and we’re comfortable with it.
Have to change plans on us last minute? We understand because we know how that goes.
9. We’re independent.
We’ve got our own house, we’ve got our own car and work hard. We’ve learned to do life on our own, and we aren’t looking for a man to freeload off of. We’ve learned how to play the roles of Mum and Dad. We know how to fix leaky faucets and change tires, lay carpets and even wallpaper.
We don’t want your money or for you to take us out on fancy dates. We want your companionship.
We want someone to share life with, someone to vent to after long days with a whiny toddler and someone to celebrate with when life is going good.
The best part about dating a single mother is she’s independent in all the right ways, but she still wants you. I’m not above asking a man to help me fix my dishwasher or to just hold me when I’ve had a long day. We don’t need you, we just want you
Dating a single mother is not easy. Like any relationship, it requires effort, commitment and patience. Everyone has a past, and everyone has a past that’s what shapes us into who we are today. If you can look past her complexities, I can guarantee dating a single mother will be well worth your effort.
So you see dating a single mother Isn’t as scary as you think! In fact I think you get a pretty sweet deal.