Sugarcoated social media parenting!!

Hello lovelies, welcome back to my page. For years, I’ve wondered how others make parenting look so easy. They all look so happy and perfectly, spotless looking all beautiful all of the time. It has dawned on me that social media is like an imperfection filter. Any flaws we have or moments of unhappiness in our lives are simply filtered out before we hit that share button.

Our timelines are full to bursting with happiness. Beautiful shots of our kids on beaches, family trips, selfies on sofas, posh meals out, loved up couples and happy family times that rightly deserve a like and a comment. All the good bits we love to share.

This is, of course, only natural. We always hit delete on the photos that give us four chins and make us look like shrek. Or those where our children look anything other than cute and spotlessly clean. We share statuses reflecting good news, good friends, good times.

But what is it that lies beneath? What about all the other times? I don’t mean the ‘I’m so pissed off right now’ cryptic statuses that wind everybody up (if you’re not going to share why you are ‘absolutely fuming’ then don’t bother telling us all, just a thought) or posting that you’re in the hospital and not sharing why….please don’t you’re just attention seeking and everyone can see it!!

I mean the everyday parts of normal life. For every nice shot of my life I know I have ten more that should never see the light of day (for the love of god please don’t post by accident kim!! ). For every ‘this little sweetie pie got me up at 6am’ status there are ten ‘holy shit, this is bluddy hard work, someone pass the wine’ thoughts underneath. We always seem to share the perfect airbrushed version, the Instagram edit, the perfect selected statuses. The original photos, the days we would sell a kidney to have some child free time and the mundane everyday statuses are the real ‘news feeds’ that go unseen.

Since i started sharing my own story amongst friends and people on social media they have also shared with me their own frustrations and largely felt that it has simply not been okay to share moments of difficulty or boredom or frustration when everybody else is coping so well or seems to be on the outside in case they are frowned upon or made to look like they’re not coping with their life.

I will however continue to use Instagram (with filters) and periodically pose my girls for photos, and tell you when I am so very happy and proud. But I will also try to balance it out with the other stuff because a montage solely of the best bits is not who I really am.

If you are having a bad day (or week) just remember that your Facebook timeline or Twitter feed should come with a disclaimer. You may feel like everybody else has the life you want but in reality, they may not even always have the life they want.

Social media is definitely not real life just remember no one is perfect.

Kimberly xo

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14 thoughts on “Sugarcoated social media parenting!!

  1. I always used to get feedback to quit complaining, or that im ungrateful if I share not so perfect moments. I guess it makes people uncomfortable. Life is messy, imperfect, and motherhood even more so, but some people just like to pretend its not.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah that’s totally true I’m definitely not perfect and one thing I’ve never done in life is pretend like everything was perfect I am an open book and tell it how it is good or bad. Thank you so much for reading my post xo

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I think it’s difficult because people think you’re sharing too many personal details when you hint that things aren’t going so smoothly. We feel people don’t want to know about the bad bits, but I’d rather know that than have somebody keep it bottled up inside. I’ll take a Facebook status or a tweet about a bad day over somebody struggling every single time.

    I imagine people think I’m an oversharer because I wrote on Facebook when I called off a wedding. I didn’t share the reasons why I’d done it, but it wasn’t good news, so why did I want everybody to know? Well, first and foremost, it was easier than reliving the story with every individual. There were several people I needed to tell, and I didn’t want to message them all individually. Secondly, I value the friends I have on Facebook and know that they care about me, so I’d want them to know that things have gone wrong.

    Also, I wrote on Facebook when I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. Just as I’d tell people in person, I’m willing to put it out on the web, because that’s what’s going on with me. I’ve realised how ridiculous it is to only ever put the good bits online because then it’s not a fair perspective. People can’t help you if they think everything is swimming along nicely.

    I now have a blog to share these thoughts, and I’ll keep doing it because it’s real life. If people want to be in my life, they should know the good and the bad, even when it’s uncomfortable. I think the culture we have of only putting the best bits on social media is so damaging. I mean, take a look at all the people who are now writing about their mental health issues and the number of people that helps on a daily basis? The conversation wouldn’t be opening up if people didn’t have the guts to say life isn’t perfect.

    My standpoint is just from a general perspective, and I imagine it’s even more difficult when you have children. I think mums and dads spent so much of their time questioning if they’re doing things right as it is. That’s why I love it when people come out and say things like this and when people share videos of their kids being little brats. Even your post about kids being assholes is a perfect example of brutal, uncensored honesty.

    Great post on an important issue. 🙂

    (Sorry this comment turned out super long! Should probably have just done my own post about it in response, haha. ;))

    Ruth |

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aw I don’t mind one bit I totally agree with you I was always brought up with the saying “honesty is the best policy” and I tend to say things before I think I’m like an open book haha! I really enjoyed reading your comment I do totally agree with everything you said xo 😘

      Liked by 1 person

  3. So true! If we all tend to put the happy times on social media, it’s easy to forget there are rough times we aren’t seeing. Parenting is by far the hardest job EVER!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Loved your post! Social media does not only airbrush our reality, but also creates false expectations. You’re supposed to be a perfect mom, with an excited career, support everyone around you, maintain your figure and just have a picture-perfect life.. Well I guess life just happens, and it’s not so perfect all the time.

    Liked by 1 person

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