10 SIGNS YOU ARE A PARENT IN THE MIDST OF A SCOTTISH HEATWAVE!
1) You first hear of the hot weather when you check the news in the morning wishing, hoping…PRAYING 🙏🏻 for better weather (especially for us Scots HAHA!). You then tell go around telling absolutely anyone and everyone you come into contact with from the postman to the checkout woman in the supermarket to the little old lady walking her dog. well because EVERYONE needs to know right?!
2) You as many loads of washing to make sure your washing line is full to the brim at any one point and you can’t fit anymore on it well one because it’s saving electricity and two you need to beat your neighbours to the mark haha! You’ve got to look like you’ve got your life together!!
3) You shave EVERYWHERE yip honestly everywhere from your toes, your legs, your armpits and PAINT YOUR NAILS! Holy Jesus we got this I look good!!
4) You rummage through your wardrobe for that old frumpy summer dress you almost NEVER wear well because you live in Bonny Scotland, and parade around in your garden in it at 8am. Hanging your washing up with no bra underneath it set them free ladies!!. The neighbours won’t mind will they?! Nah come on “WE ARE ACTUALLY HAVING A HEATWAVE”. Suns out tits out I say!!
5) You start to get the urge to drink frozen cocktails around 1pm. Drinking in your garden does not count. It’s like the box of Fab ice lollies you consumed before the kids got to them. No calories when the sun is out! You will sweat them all out of your system. Right? Got to be true!
6) You send your kids out to play straight after breakfast it’s Scotland we don’t get sunshine very often haha! “go out it’s sunny you don’t have to be on the PS4 all day, get some sun it’s good for you” well that’s my excuse haha! “.
7) To ensure that your children make the most of the heatwave (did I mention we are in the middle of one?) you search the garden shed for every single toy the kids have and have been locked away since last year, from water guns and skipping ropes to the Poundland badminton set, to the paddling pool…that may or may not have holes but we have duck tape (it solves everything haha!)
8) You get the factor 50 sun cream out and slather your child from top to bottom until they look like a ghost haha! We’re not used to this sun we burn easily in Scotland.
9) You dress your little ones as if they are about to go to a rave. The brightest beach dresses, the brightest t shirts and surf shorts that may not even fit anymore but it’ll do haha!. They are in hats, sunglasses and repeat over and over again “put that hat back on you’ll get burnt and I’m not having you up all night moaning”.
10) You day to everyone you meet “GOD IT’S SO HOT ISN’T IT? IT REALLY IS? DO YOU THINK IT’S REALLY CLAMMY TODAY?” And then moan about it being so hot well because we’re Scottish that’s what we do haha!.
But? The thought of staying outside all day is a bit much. The children keep spraying you in the face with a water pistol and all you really want to do is go inside and lay on the sofa watch your favourite series on Netflix. Someone’s been stung by a bee and the paddling pool is now just sludgy dirty mess on your nice green lawn. You put on the news and are relieved to see it tells you it’s going to p*ss it down in a few days. Thank god for that!!
You pack everything back in the shed leaving the big round muddy mess in the garden to clear up on it’s own repeatedly saying “we’ll need to get grass seed for that now” bundle your kids in the bath get them to bed and flop down on the sofa like a knackered sweaty hippo and sigh while saying “aww that was a long day ae?” Haha! Parenting is a wonderful thing!!
What do your family do in a heatwave?