Out of all the things I thought I’d be doing with my life at the age of 31 (yes I’m old 😩) writing a blog on bullying isn’t one of them. I have a 13 year old daughter who is in her second year of high school. She is a very quiet and withdrawn person who severely lacks in confidence no matter how hard I’ve tried to help it grow over the years.
She’s the girl who sits in class does all her work without talking to other students who doesn’t get involved in group discussions with the class or talks back to teachers she is very polite well mannered and according to her teachers a credit to myself. But this leaves the door open for bullying because she is so quiet if anyone says something to her or does something she can’t cope with it she is absolutely terrified that she will get into trouble if she answers back or stands up for herself and it is a bluddy nightmare.
My daughter is a closed book no matter how hard I try getting her to talk about her feelings or what’s going on in her life is seriously like getting blood out of a stone it’s so frustrating I just want her to feel confident and not worry about things that she can talk to me about anything and everything. Even at home she is very quiet she hardly goes out with friends or is loud and chats a lot (definitely not like me) she lives in her own little bubble where she seems to think it’s safe for her to be. She has a lot of good friends that she relies on heavily for that confidence boost and they all love her to pieces which is fantastic.
So where does the bullying fit in?
Over the past year my daughter has struggled at school with being so quiet even asking the teacher for help if she’s stuck on something doesn’t happen instead she sits quiet and goes unnoticed by everyone. Then the repercussions of this come out at home, with her mood swings and anxiety she bottles everything up until one day she just can’t cope any more and breaks down in tears totally sobbing her heart out not knowing how to handle the situation and at this point I’m absolutely clueless to what’s going on because she’s not showing me that anything is actually going on and in turn I don’t know what to think or do all I can do is try to comfort her and get her to talk to me which is so hard to do. But I know my daughter I know that when it finally comes down to it she will come to me and talk tell me what’s going on and the reason for being so upset.
Over the past few days my daughter has been extremely quiet, more than normal and then the random crying not just a little cry a full blown sobbing her eyes out and she just kept saying that she didn’t know why she was crying I was in shock this has never happened before I was thinking was it hormones? Did she have her period? Had something happened with her friends? All these questions and the answer I kept getting was I don’t know, I just don’t know mum. I was at a loss clueless on how I could help if she wouldn’t tell me what was wrong it broke my heart seeing her in this state over something that was seriously bothering her and I didn’t know what it was.
Well today it happened all over again as we were getting ready for school the random tears and sobbing began first over eyeliner then we sorted that then over a bottle of water, got that sorted so I tried to get her out the door and nope she wasn’t budging I asked what was wrong cuddling her in and finally she opened up and said people were bullying her at School they had been saying stuff about her and it was getting spread around and going back to her the rage I felt was unreal this kid literally doesn’t do anything wrong to anyone hardly even speaks I asked who it was? she said “I don’t know” I said if you don’t tell me I can’t sort it out sweetheart she said it was people she didn’t know I asked if her friends were sticking up for her and she said yes which is fantastic I told her if they do it agin tell them to f**k off!
She said she’ll get in trouble I said not with me you won’t getting in trouble for sticking up for yourself! So I contacted the school and one of the teachers were a great help with finding a way of trying to get it out of her but like always she’s a closed book but they assured me they’re now keeping an eye on the situation and if anything happens at all with my daughter either myself or my daughter can go straight to them and it will be sorted out.
I felt helpless, hopeless, and enraged.
Bullying is a very real, very common, almost epidemic problem. It’s not a problem that is local to any one place, but is global. It’s everywhere from schools to sports to church and anywhere you look. Bullying has changed from when “we were kids” It’s different for today’s generation. They have no way to escape. Cyber-bullying is rampant and even though our kids might be able to turn off a phone, or a computer, the hate is still there when they power up again. I just hope the parents out there like me are encouraging their child not to bully people because it can have some severe consequences for everyone involved.
BULLYING NEEDS TO STOP!!!
Thank you for reading my rant this morning from a frazzled, stressed out, hopeful mother.